Loss of a Hero
by Diary
Summary: At age nineteen, Justin learns some troubling things about his mentor and has to decide what to do. Complete.


Disclaimer: I do not own Ugly Betty.

* * *

If there's one thing Justin is sure will never change, it's him learning important things by eavesdropping on his family.

"Hey, Aunt Betty," he says, sitting down. "I know some thing's on your mind."

"Hey," she says, smiling and leaning over to kiss him. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he tells her. "I heard you talking to Grandpa; whatever you think you might need to tell me, just tell me."

She sighs, giving him a sad, knowing look. "How much have you heard over the years, kiddo?"

"Enough that it's a good thing I never went through a blackmailing phase," he answers, lightly. "Come on, A.B."

Taking a deep breath, Betty takes his hand. "You have no idea how proud of you I am, Justin. And no matter what, we will always love you."

"But?"

"There's no but," she insists, "we will."

"Aunt Betty," he answers, warningly, "tell me what's bothering you."

"It's about Marc."

"Did something happen," he asks, alarmed. "I just texted him-"

"No, no, honey, he's fine!"

"Then, what?"

Visibly steeling herself, Betty says, "Marc has been a good friend to you, and I hate to possibly take away your hero. But now that you're starting Mode, I think there are some things you need to know."

…

"Wow," Justin says, flatly, after she's done.

Of course, he'd known Marc had once bullied Betty, and he knew better than most how deeply Marc's cattiness could run. He'd just always thought Betty and Marc had become actual friends and that Marc was a good person.

"You're nineteen," Betty tells him, gently. "You have to make your own decisions about who you want to be and what you want to do. No matter what, we **will** always love you. I just hope you stick to the lessons you've grown up with."

"Why did you ever let me get close to him if you knew what sort of person he was? Is?"

"Because he understood what you were going through and was able to help you," she answers, simply. "Your dad, even when he was around, didn't. Grandpa has always supported you, but just like Hilda and I couldn't, he didn't understand the struggles you faced. Then, when you got older, he became an actual friend to you."

Leaning over, she coaxes his head down, on top of hers. "Marc has his faults."

"He's done unforgivable things," Justin retorts, feeling sick to his stomach.

"He's done some seriously bad things," she corrects. "But he also loves you. He's done a lot of good things for you."

"I don't want to be like him."

"You can be whoever you want to be; if you don't hold to anything else we've tried to impart on you, hold on to that."

"I don't want to be near him any more."

"Well," she answers with a sigh, "first of all, you basically work for him, now. Second, everyone has their side to the story, and I think you should see if he'll share his. I've lost several good friends over the years for being too judgemental."

"Too judgemental of them being human and making mistakes. All those things Marc did could have killed someone or made their sanity permanently snap!"

For a long moment, she's quiet.

"Betty."

"Honey, Marc was a lot like you when he was younger. A creative, brave little boy; I'm sure there was even someone like Austin back then for him."

"There's no one like Austin."

"Someone who was as important to him as Austin is to you," she continues. "The difference is, his family didn't accept him. They didn't teach him the important values we've taught you. He grew up even lonelier than you did, and when he got out into the world, he had to make decisions with no reference guide, no one to make him take a step back, and no one who could-"

"Why are you defending him?"

"Because, however many bad things he's done, however many times he's hurt me and other innocent people, I know you sometimes cried yourself to sleep," she answers. Before he can deny it, she says, "You aren't the only one who occasionally eavesdrops. And every time I tried to check on you, you'd have your face hidden in your pillow and would pretend to be in a deep sleep."

"You have no idea it was to turn down hot chocolate and tempting offers of musicals."

Chuckling, she nods. "There was a part of you we couldn't help with, no matter how much we wanted to. Marc could, and he did. He helped you be strong and realise how loved you were. He gave you a different safe place to go to."

Accepting that, he tells her, "Thank you, Aunt Betty. For telling me."

…

He knows Betty wants him to talk to Marc, but he just can't.

When Renee Slater was released, everyone was uneasy around her, especially Marc, but he'd assumed that had been due to his worry she might hurt Wilhelmina like she'd tried to do to Betty.

No, it turned out Betty had found out while in England (his aunt totally rocks) what the cause behind her re-institutionalisation was and blackmailed Wilhelmina and Marc into making sure she got legitimate help and was released.

Now, Renee's living with her niece, Nico, and Marc still worries about her coming back. Some part of Justin finds himself wishing she would, now that he knows the truth.

Company takeovers and making fun of Betty's lack of fashion sense and social awkwardness are one thing. Destroying a person's mental health is another. It goes against everything Justin knows to be right and forgiveable.

"Hey," Austin answers, only in a towel.

"You had to answer shirtless."

Stepping aside, Austin sighs. "Is this a breakup, or did you actually lose the key?"

Justin doesn't want to answer that. They've been talking a lot lately, dancing around breaking up. It's been decided that it would probably be a good idea, at least, temporarily, but neither have been able to bring themselves to do it just yet.

It's not due to a lack of love. They're just different people, who want different things, and until they started forcing themselves to talk, there was a period of alternating coldness and fighting about every little thing.

Sometimes, Justin really misses being fifteen, when he was immature and, once they got together, too in love to ever give soul-searching examination to anything involving Austin.

"First of all, I've occasionally forgotten the key, but I've never actually lost it," he says, sitting down while Austin disappears to the bedroom.

"That's your story, anyway," Austin teases when he returns, pyjamas on. "You need to apologise to that fortune teller; her curse made them shrink to where you couldn't find them."

"I still maintain she was a tackily-dressed, white Oprah rip-off," he retorts, rolling his eyes.

"Want some tea?"

He nods, and when Austin comes back, he blurts out, "Marc's evil."

"What happened? What'd he do?"

…

"Wow," Austin says. "I thought I'd finally learned all the insanity of your family and the Mode staff."

"I thought I already knew all the insanity."

Giving him a sympathetic grin, Austin wraps an arm around him. "Well, I can't give you advice on this. Which I think is okay, because I get the feeling you've already decided things on your own."

"I'm sorry," Justin says, his throat closing up.

"It's okay," Austin says, softly. "We knew this day would come soon."

"I'm not going to work at Mode," Justin continues, hoping the tears wait until he's gone. "You know how Bobby was going to help me trade my car for a new one?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going backpacking. I'll take the money I have saved for an apartment and see if he'll let me sell the car and keep the money. I'll probably hate it, and I might get myself killed, but I think it's time to see the world beyond my family and Mode. Beyond you."

"I get it," Austin says, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Don't get yourself killed."

"I'll try," he promises. Then, "So, I guess this is it."

"I guess so," Austin agrees, sadly.

Taking the key out of his pocket, Justin starts to set it on the table, but Austin stops him. "Keep it. We may be over, but I still trust you in here alone. If you ever need a place, you can come."

"Austin-"

"You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend."

Sighing, Justin slumps down. "Thank you."

"And I know you're wondering how to respond, so: I gave your keys back to Ignacio two weeks ago; he promised he'd give it the one to Bobby's back to them when the time was right. The writing was on the wall was just getting so obvious, and I thought it would hurt less if the breakup was bad to not have to give it back to _you_."

"I'm going to kill Grandpa for not saying anything."

"Admit it, you're also kind of glad."

"Kind of," he acknowledges. Turning slightly, he kisses Austin on the lips. "No matter what, I do love you."

"I know. I love you, too. And I hope you find whatever you looking for, whatever you want."

…

At age nineteen, his grandmother's cross hanging from his neck, Justin Suarez heads out into the world. He has money and keys from family, a state-wide bus pass and compass from his stepfather, toiletries and coupons to various salons from his mother, a digital camera and first aid kid from his aunt, several packaged meals from his grandfather and a list of cheap foods to try, pictures of them all, including his ex-boyfriend, and the lessons they've taught him over the years.

If he's going to lose anything, he's determined it won't be the last one.


End file.
